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August 2, 2009

Do My Eyes Deceive Me?

It's a perfect evening out for dinner with my family. My parents are in town this week and tonight is their last night here before they fly home tomorrow. So we had a full day going to Great Explorations Children's Museum, swimming at the hotel pool, and then going out to dinner downtown. I live in this quaint little historic town in walking distance from shops, boutiques, restaurants, and the water. Sadly, a little too touristy but really a sweet place to live. My parents had a hotel room in walking distance to both town and our house. We planned to meet at the Mexican place tonight and everything was just peachy when the oddest thing happens after ordering our food.

We are in the restaurant just plowing through chips and salsa when all of a sudden the lights start flashing and someones cranks up the volume of this pretty awesome Latin number. I mean, LOUD! Then, we see this woman in this tight little get up taking this "O" shaped ring from the ceiling and is fiddling with the ropes that tie it up. Now I, being the innocent patron that I am, completely assume that this is some sort of funny toss game where someone gets a free dessert for getting three burritos through the hoop or something. I mean, what do you do with this ring that hangs from the ceiling? Light a fire to it?

Nope.

Leotard clad lady is going to hang from it in positions that God never intended for our bodies to do. Especially in front of people shoveling in chips and salsa or the fajita I am waiting on. Um, hello? Family atmosphere people! My children are now mesmerized by the woman swinging from this hoop and quite frankly I am appalled that this is our dining entertainment. Am I alone in this thinking? Well, apparently, since thunderous applause erupts at the close of her routine.

Now call me a prude but wouldn't some jammin' maracas be more appropriate then mid air splits while hanging upside down? But just as I am breathing a sigh of relief, a sweet little girl who is the mini me of this woman begins climbing two, long panels of fabric like a fireman pole, then splitting the panels apart at the top while hanging to them. I kid you not. She then twists them around her ankles and then suddenly is hanging in a split from midair with only this fabric wrapped around her for support. Now I have kicked in to Mom gear and wondering if anyone else is concerned that this little baby is hanging by a literal thread from the ceiling. A picture of my future flashed before my eyes where my Cati aspires to doing dangerous circus acts in family restaurants while people throw chips at her.

How good are those chips by the way? Too good to throw in my opinion.

Alarm is the best word to describe how I feel but now I can't take my eyes off this precious little girl who really can bend in ways that should not be possible. Then Leotard gets back up there to finish off the routine and at one point gets rolled up in these fabric panels like a cocoon and then unravels herself almost to the floor before catching herself. All without a net!!! Seriously, there should be rules against this type of thing. The music from Sesame Street where you look at four things and one of them just doesn't belong? This is the tune playing in my head as I look at the rest of the diners who either see this as utterly normal or seem oblivious to this display.

The best part? They pass out pamphlets at the end to promote the dance studio that teaches this gift of entertainment and I can not tell a lie. The pamphlet is in my purse.

5 comments:

  1. Does it say something about me that after reading this post, I cannot stop thinking that I must go to this restaurant and see this for myself? I'm sure you meant this as a warning... STAY FAR AWAY.. I'm truly a moth drawn to the flames. or to the strange ceiling acrobatics. whatever.

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  2. I got to the second paragraph and started screaming Casa Tina, yes yes. I am cracking up. I totally want to go there. Now I am going back to reading, just had to get that off my chest.

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  3. Oh my!!! How weird!!!!So funny! I can picture my family there... I would not have been able to act entertained....I think I would be laughing too hard that I would have to get out so I didn't hurt her feelings :) That would have been bad :) That sounds so hilarious!!!

    Your comments on Rocco & the ckicks was so funny! I was actually a little worried about posting them thinking people would think we are too mean to animals but it really was pretty funny :) Poor things :)

    Take care Jessica!!!
    Lib

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  4. this was hilarious!!! i was with you every step of the way as i read the post: mom-mode, thinking bodies shouldn't be doing this, thinking my family (including myself) shouldn't be watching this, and of course, most importantly, how good are those chips?!!! nearly my favorite part of the post...:) can't wait for more stories that make me laugh.

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  5. hahahahahahhahahah im laughing so hard, my hubby is in the other room asking my 21 month old, "what is momma doing?" lol
    weird, weird, weird!!! why did they think that that was a good idea?
    my favorite part was the sesame street song! i started singing it in my head when u mentioned it!
    xoxox

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